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Farmhouse,

Sometimes you need to be reminded of how beautiful you are.

Your flaws are easy to see and your progress even harder to show, but don’t worry. You are your own worst critic when it comes to your imperfections.

Stand tall, dear Farmhouse. You are growing older by the day but you are as sturdy as strong. They don’t make many houses like you these days. You were built with endurance in mind…handcrafted by an artist that put much thought into how to help you withstand time. Like a fine wine, you only age beautifully.

You are not defined by your lack of shiplap and white cabinets. You are all the best parts of you that make you unique to the world.

You are the walls that have sobbed and laughed with all the faces that walk by you.

You are the floors that have held the weight of many who felt like they couldn’t hold themselves together.

You are the front door that welcomes everyone to feel like they’re right at home.

You are the sunset that kisses your rooftop goodnight.

That pine tree standing even taller than you is a daily reminder that your broken window in the back is a much smaller problem than what most have to face in this world. There are homes in many states and countries crumbling under the damaging weather, fires, and floods. But not you. You have withstood throughout it all.

Don’t be afraid to strive for better…for greatness. It’s okay to aim for your highest potential. One day, your walls will match. Your furniture will compliment your smile. You will proudly wear your curtains as they hug you and you will never doubt yourself or your purpose here.

And as you wonder in these middle days of figuring it all out, I hope you know how loved you are. You are never forgotten or set aside.

Think of how proud your builder would be today that you made it this far.

I imagine they were completely satisfied when they laid down their hammer for the last time and looked up at you through the sweat and blood.

My letter to my Farmhouse.

My letter to me.

 

 

 

“For Jesus has been counted worthy of more glory than Moses- as much more glory as the builder of a house has more honor than the house itself. (For every house is built by someone, but the builder of all things is God.) Now Moses was faithful in all God’s house as a servant, to testify to the things that were to be spoken later, but Christ is faithful over God’s house as a son. And we are his house, if indeed we hold fast our confidence and our boasting in our hope.” Hebrews 3: 3-6

 

 

 

 

 

 

This year I set out to put all of my Pinterest inspired plans and acreage to good use. Measure out my dimensions, buy the seeds, till the soil, fence it in, plant, water and repeat until it’s ready to harvest. How hard could this gardening thing be, anyway? (says the millennial)..

I didn’t get my seeds started in time so I had to purchase started plants in late May (I tried to with my strawberry seeds…they didn’t turn out like I had hoped). I dug my holes at 2:00 in the scorching hot afternoon because I was too lazy to do it in the crisp morning hours. I forgot to water for a few days in a row…more than once…and almost lost the entire garden multiple times. Half of the tilled soil was a garden of weeds and the cucumbers were just about suffocating the other half of it. And for the love of all things gardening- I didn’t even get to put up the tomato cages.

Through it all, I still somehow managed to carry in baskets full of tomato and cucumber plants over the last six weeks. God probably felt sorry for me and sprinkled His miracles over my weed garden 😉

I’m a failure at pretty much everything I try to do in life.

And so are you.

If that sounds harsh, I’m sorry but, you are. We all are.

I’ve learned something before that I’ll never forget- that even on our best days…our best days when everything in our world seems to be going right…we still don’t measure up to the only perfect human that ever existed: Jesus. So, why do I think I can do anything completely on my own? Why do I feel a need to anyway?

{Insert pride here}

The source of my strength comes entirely from my Savior and the good news is that His strength never fails- even though I do daily. As a believer, this is what I hold my hope in. This is where my anchor lies.

It’s not that I didn’t try my best to avoid these mistakes. I just knew from the beginning that mistakes were bound to happen (does anything ever go as planned?). Instead of letting the inevitable discourage me, I kept pushing through and had a harvest that equaled the intentional effort I gave. I also think the land we live on here in southern Ohio is super fertile and will be my greatest advantage in the future years to come. I can only imagine what the produce will be when I apply what I’ve learned from this year to next year’s garden…and next year’s mistakes to the following year….and so forth 🙂

My failures amount up to nothing short of a learning experience for anything in my future that will go right. How do we know what success is, or what blessings are, or what glory feels like…if things don’t ever go wrong? The bigger my mistake is, the more He seems to use it better for His glory later on.

Keep showing up. Keep learning, growing, investing into and expanding your knowledge. Keep failing and keep pushing through the trials.

Another important lesson through this failure/learning experience: networking is key, no matter what you’re trying to build. After an unexpected visit with our elderly neighbors a few weeks ago (we were helping my friend look for her runaway dog), I marveled over their abundance in produce and well thought out garden layout. It was obvious that they have had decades of experience in this area. I decided then that helping them with their garden next year is going to be one of the best ways I can help my own garden. Even more than that it’s a great way to build a closer relationship with them. I also realized in that moment that I had several close friends offer to help me through this process and I let my pride get in the way instead of taking them up on their offers. It was almost like God was saying to me right in that moment, “The answer was in front of you all along. You have help- look around you.” Quite literally…200 yards to my right! All I had to do was, “love my neighbor” (Mark 12:31).

 

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13.

 

Yours Truly,

Kelsey

The man standing on the front porch step of our home that we had already created two years worth of memories in…I didn’t choose him.

He crossed his arms after wiping tears from his glossy eyes. I never decided he was, “the one for me.”

He hugged his parents, then mine, and I stepped up to stand next to the man I never dreamed of.

But you know what I did do?

I married the man I was assigned to.

You can argue all you want on how the world turns. You can provide the evidence in hand and give me every scientific reason to believe that we’re all just “here.” However, my faith in that the world was designed and created by God and that our souls were bought at a price from Christ Jesus is infinitely larger than that. And my proof in that belief is through the marriage God gave me.

Our small group through church had spent a significant amount of time last year reading through an online book called, “You and Me Forever” by Francis and Lisa Chan (it’s free to download the book as an app onto your smartphone- I highly recommend looking it up and reading through it yourself). One of the best quotes that has stuck in my memory was from Lisa:

“Christ-likeness may be especially important in our marriages because marriage is such a powerful way to display the gospel and the glory of God. It is the first place people will look to see if we believe what we say we believe. Someone can have a dynamic speaking gift, or generously give to anyone in need, or appear to know a lot of Scripture, but if they have a terrible marriage, it raises questions. How can he treat his wife that way? Why is she so disrespectful to her husband? They obviously do not believe what they claim to believe. It should burden us deeply that many of our marriages paint the gospel in a bad light. Can you imagine if the divorce rate among Christians was next to nothing? What an incredible way to cry out to the world that we are different! We have the mind of Christ, we have the power of the Holy Spirit, we choose to die to ourselves and love and forgive even when things get difficult. This is what God wants for us as His people.”

God gave me an assignment to marry Michael on August 22nd, 2015. You can’t convince me that I could have ever saw that coming. I longed for a perfect love but I never knew how much I needed my marriage to glorify my Creator. I never knew that marrying my best friend meant that I was called to love someone patiently and unconditionally- for more than myself and even more than for my husband. We are far from perfect but every day I am going to keep pressing on to be selfless in this way. It is by God’s perfect timing, God’s perfect decision to bring us together, and God’s perfect love for me that motivates and inspires me to love my husband the same way.

 

P.S.

In lieu of a unity candle to signify two becoming one flesh (Ephesians 5:31), we took soil from my parents’ yard and from Michael’s parents’ yard and poured both into a single soil pot of a Catalpa tree we would plant in our own front yard a month later. As the years and our love for another grows, so hopefully will the tree to remind us of our two souls becoming one.

Today, the tree stands taller than Michael.

Happy two years of marriage, my love.

Yours Truly,

Kelsey Moeller

 

“Some people are a bouquet of red roses. They’re beautiful, stunning, and passionate about whatever that one thing is in their life that they’re good at. But you? You’re a wildflower. You passionately love many, different things about life. You’re a little bit of everything. And I’d personally rather have a bouquet of wildflowers than a bouquet of roses…” -Told to me by my friend, Nicole, as we were taking a sunset walk down Upper Five Mile.

I started the beginning of this year not exactly sure what was going to become of Farmhouse on Five Mile- let alone how I was going to get anywhere with it. I knew I was passionate for our little farm here but I didn’t exactly know what it was meant for or why. I am in a constant state of changing- changing decisions, changing dreams, changing emotions. I have always viewed this inability to commit to any one passion as a negative, a drawback, a failure, and even as something that God disapproved of in me.

What Nicole said to me that evening was a small reminder that God made me who I am on purpose. All of the things I dislike about myself are not equaled to what God thinks of me. He is much bigger than my doubts and insecurities.

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10

With all of that said, Farmhouse on Five Mile is always going to be growing and ever-changing, much like myself. It is a place where people will come to remember what silence sounds like as they watch the sunset from the front porch. It’s where people will come to learn how to ride a horse and leave with a newfound meaning on communication and trust. It’s where people will come to pick up a dozen eggs and a jar of strawberry jam to take home to their families. It’s where people will appreciate the lost art of growing fresh produce from their own backyard. It’s where people will see how taking intentional and active care towards the animals, the land, and the environment we live in is glorifying to the God who created it. This small farm is being built on the many different ideas that God put inside of me, and I will do whatever He calls me to do here. And now, I am pursuing this positive and uplifting notion that I can learn to love myself as much as I love the blessings He has given me.

Small farms with big dreams seem to start with small beginnings. I may have taken the “small” part a little too literally 😉 I would like to introduce to you our two new miniature horses: Jewels and Lola, and our two new 15-week old Nigerian Dwarf goat kids: Chomper and Ducky (Yes, they are named after the cartoon characters from the movie, “The Land Before Time”). Instead of babbling more words about their unique personalities (which I’m sure will be talked about quite often in future blog posts), I will let the pictures do the talking. Please help us welcome the newest fur-children of Farmhouse on Five Mile. Let the big dreams commence 🙂

Yours Truly,

Kelsey

Two months later…it is finally finished!

I started this on a whim in the beginning of February and soon realized it was going to take much longer than I expected it to. It’s pretty typical of me to get a jump-start on projects without fully thinking through all the details first. My self-awareness on that should have been motivating, but it actually turned into overwhelm after about the first coat of paint. These moments usually result in either unfinished projects or something that looks absolutely nothing like what I had in mind…or like that Pinterest article said it would…

I was looking for something in one of our spare bedrooms when I stopped for a moment to look at this pitiful, brown desk I kept hidden. We’ve had it since we first moved in together but I honestly couldn’t tell you why we kept it and why we moved the darn thing from place to place. It held some important papers but for the most part it was just storing junk!

I’m pretty certain my thoughts were really just looking to clear up the clutter within my mind- so when the opportunity arose to clear up some physical clutter and re-purpose it into something beautiful- I didn’t think twice about letting my enthusiasm take over. This, “clear out the clutter” and, “give this desk a new purpose” is suddenly all so relevant to where my life was in uncertainty of my purpose. Looking back now, it’s almost as if I believed that if I just took the time to make this into something more beautiful than it was, or just distracted myself long enough from my day-to-day thoughts, then my purpose in life would be more clear to me too. These were not conscious thoughts, of course. It never ceases to amaze me how absent minded I can be in the moment, yet how intuitive and analytical I am when reminiscing on the past.

Life happens. Other tasks crept in and piled one on top of the other and before I knew it, it had taken me over a week just to put the first coat of chalk paint on. I thought to myself how I should have sanded it down like that Pinterest pin said to do, or maybe I would have been better off using spray paint? I decided there’s definitely something therapeutic about painting with a brush (and Lord knows I have plenty of therapeutic opportunities around the house for years to come!). It took two coats (some areas took three) of the chalk paint for the brown to be completely hidden but it did indeed work! As therapeutic as it was, I wish you could have heard my sigh of relief when I washed out the paint brush for the last time!

Three coats of the “Sheepskin” color Folk Art chalk paint, three trips to the store to try and find the right sized baskets to fit in place of the bottom two drawers, and an afternoon of learning how difficult it is to paint stencil designs with absolute perfection (and failing)…I had the most imperfectly perfect desk I had ever seen. And the best part is that it turned out to look even better than how I imagined it to be…way more unique than anything I could find online!

The only thing left was to put a layer of the wax seal on the top surface after the stencils dried…and voila! My very own piece of artwork…and a great sense of accomplishment.

This dresser is definitely not photographed well with my dinky smartphone camera.  You can see brush strokes throughout some parts of it still. You can see where I messed up the stencil paintings and then tried to correct myself. The baskets don’t seem to fit perfectly in place despite all the careful measurements I took, and since I’m being honest here…I didn’t even paint the inside of the top two drawers! But I definitely learned a lot of what to do and what not to do…just by doing it!

So what is its new purpose, you ask?

I still have absolutely no idea 🙂

My original plan was to use this as my coffee bar since I was having a hard time finding the perfect piece at local antique shops, but I fear it is still too big for the area I’d like the coffee bar to be. It might still make its way to the dining room though…and I’ll be sure to post pictures when it’s in its perfect setting when the time is right.

As I continue forth on my journey of finding my own purpose and clear my mind of the clutter of the world, my focus seems to have changed from obsessing over perfection to being focused on progress. And every time I start a painting project like this, I’ll just keep getting better and better.

Bring on the next project!

 

 

 

“Be assured that when you miss a check mark, He’s got that covered.”

I had just sent a detailed email full of what I felt like were selfish ambitions that I have been beating myself up over and concerns for some people close to me. I didn’t realize that Pastor’s response to my prayer requests would sink to the back of my mind until the words found their way back to the surface today.

As I’ve mentioned numerous times before (because I just can’t seem to let it go), a huge insecurity of mine is my unwillingness to just get things done.

Finished, completed, crossed off, checked off, and ready to move on with bigger and better things? Sounds nice but, nope, not me. I am a person content with dwelling. Filled with excitement in the beginning and lacking in the follow-through department. And when I finally learned this- I thought, “Hmm…I really don’t like that about myself,” and proceeded to identify with that as an unchanging fact rather than facing and conquering it.

So, that desk I’ve been trying to paint and re-purpose over the last month? It still needs the final coat, wax finish, and new dresser knobs.

The screen door remodel that I said I would have completed back in July of 2016? I’m not even sure where that is at the moment to be completely honest.

The laundry sitting in the dryer for the last three days? I might get it folded and put away by the weekend.

The horse waiting for me at the gate everyday when I get home from work? I’ll get to her whenever Spring decides to show up and stay.

The business I’m trying to plan for our small farm? Eventually.

My friend from high school who is expecting and probably stressed and emotional about her finances and the big changes that are happening right now? I think of her often…maybe one day I’ll remember to send her a message and let her know I’m praying for her, or maybe I’ll stop by to visit, “one of these days.”

 

The Bible sitting on my nightstand? If I’m not too tired after a long day, sure.

Do you see a pattern here? It’s all relative. I let my tendencies to put things off bleed into every aspect of my life. What seems as insignificant- like the laundry, for example- has the same thought process when trying to serve others or build my relationship with God, which is supposed to be the most significant of all!

 

So there are three truths I have found about getting results:

1. Intentional Planning: If you have projects or goals to accomplish, don’t be afraid to get them down on paper, but for me it has proven helpful to focus on completing one project at a time. At the least, it is wise to be realistic about how many projects you can take on at once. Schedule your tasks in your calendar with sincere priority. This goes for leisure time, too. What I tend to do is put off tasks because I’ll jump on every opportunity that presents itself as a moment to unwind and “escape reality.” But when you actually schedule time to relax and unwind, you not only enjoy it more…you can also rest guilt-free from what you know you really should be doing.
2. Discipline: It’s not easy when you, “just don’t feel like it.” Yet that’s exactly the time when you need it the most.  That’s also what can make the result so rewarding- knowing that you pushed through even when you had every excuse not to.
3. Accountability: from yourself and from your supporters. You have the ability to tell yourself YES and NO when you need to. You’ve got to ingrain it in your mind that it’s not a matter of being able to- it’s a matter of willingness. It’s also perfectly okay to ask for help in keeping yourself accountable to your goals. Whether it’s your spouse or friend, pick someone in your life that has no issue with holding you to your promises. You have this encouragement as an advantage to keep yourself disciplined…use it!

Oh yeah, there’s actually one more realization that came to me:

You can plan out every last detail, discipline yourself and hold yourself accountable every moment of every day, but it doesn’t always work out the way you think it should.

It’s no secret that there are unexpected roadblocks and detours in life. There might be days- weeks even, that all the goals you wanted to accomplish simply couldn’t get completed- for one reason or another. Maybe there is a person in your life that you needed to take time to serve. Maybe you suddenly have a physical injury that limits your ability to do certain tasks. The reality is, you never know what’s in store for you. Instead of feeling discouraged by that (like I have done), recognize it when it comes and accept it for what it is (instead of avoiding and complaining about it. Trust me, I know the feeling. I’m highly experienced in this area). Sometimes those detours are exactly what you need to redirect you to a different track- the right one. The beauty and hope in not knowing how it’s all going to work out is that it’s not up to you. It’s up to the One who already knows what’s good for you.

One step, one day, and one project at a time I am learning to let my failures and insecurities be my fuel. With proper planning, discipline, accountability and acceptance of the unknown, my “to-do’s” get a big fat check mark next to them- a great feeling! (My “to-do” item was to work on my writing today. So, here I am!) And on days when I feel like I’ve screwed it all up and missed it by a mile, I can rest assured now knowing that He’s got it covered. And that is the best feeling of all.

By the way, I cannot wait to share photos of the desk I am painting!

When I get around to it, I guess 😉

 

Yours Truly,

Kelsey

 

 

 

 

 

As far away as the sun prefers to be, it decided to set a much closer to earth that Sunday evening. Maybe even just for me in that moment. It’s unusually warm for February in Ohio and the golden light compliments just how good it feels. Holly has left her pile of hay in the pasture to come sniff me hello and is now on her way to the paddock where Michael stands leaning against the fence. They share something in silent conversation while the cat intertwines between my legs. I’ll pick him up and hold him like I would a newborn baby until he wants back down again. The dogs are off somewhere, chasing either nothing or each other.

I take a deep breath and once again am reminded of the simple, undeserving life that I have been blessed with.

I’ve been away from the blog for a few weeks as I’ve been trying to figure out some details in my life…like why I can’t manage to focus on one thing at a time instead of fifty, or why I feel like I don’t have time for anything but yet somehow have time to check my social media news-feeds. So the overwhelming self-detriment has consumed my thoughts enough to make me feel like I have nothing to offer right now…nothing new, exciting, or original to share for anyone. I managed to reflect on this for an extended amount of time, decided that it was derived out of selfishness, and put my thoughts into words.

Am I the only one who yearns to live simply?

When I think of a simplistic lifestyle, the first word that comes to my mind is minimalism. Few possessions, little debt (if any), and a larger emphasis on quality over quantity. I mean…I don’t really need 15 pairs of shoes just waiting to be worn in the closet. What I really need is a smaller, sturdy selection that will walk longer miles with me. And when I yearn for, “the simple life,” I imagine a peaceful summer day watering the garden, brushing down the horses, and settling down in the hammock for my daily hour of reading and journaling. I lie to myself, though, when I think of this as the simple life I’ve been craving. The truth is, lately my heart has yearned for, “the easy life”- the one with minimal heartache, minimal financial stresses and minimal pain. I know better than to think this is achievable, but sometimes I just need reminded of the things I already know as my forward-thinking and past-holding mindset overrules me almost daily. I frequently need reminded of the simple truth about finding simplicity in my life: peace.

It’s easy to find it when your life is sailing along smoothly, but where does peace go when the waves come crashing down? I like to tell myself that I’ll keep it in my pocket and save it for the rainy days. Next thing you know I’m staring at fifteen piles of dirty laundry on the floor trying to remember exactly which pair of jeans I was wearing when I said that. I’ve recognized that there’s a large part of me that instinctively convinces myself it’s that smooth-sailing ship that I need to get back on- or that I just need to keep treading the water for the one that’s ahead of me…I’ll settle for any kind of smooth-sailing ship some days.

I started thinking about the common denominator in all my circumstances.

It’s me. It’s, “self.”

Instead of wishing for the hardships in my life to get easier, to change or to simply disappear- I have to remind myself to instead pray for strength to endure them, for patience to wait for the Lord, and for humility to get me off my high-horse. We are guaranteed sufferings- all of us. Maybe it’s time to instinctively pray for our hearts to feel as much intensity with peace as it does with the burdens. When you really start to accept every “bad” thing in your life as much as you do all the good, you will suddenly start appreciating everything that has ever happened, that is happening, or that ever will. No matter what it is. Instead of wishing they wouldn’t exist you’ll start asking, “What am I supposed to learn from this?” or better yet, “How can I use this to help others?” Not only will you find the peace you are (knowingly or unknowingly) looking for, but you will also find yourself being the person you have always wanted to be: forgiving, accepting, caring, loving, empathetic, proactive, serving, and selfless. Putting my eternal lenses on has helped me realize more each day that these hardships aren’t about me (and truthfully, neither are the rewards). The moment I start to reflect in the, “Why me?” train of thought, I just as soon realize the selfishness that comes with thinking that way.

I can contribute this simple yet profound realization to the like-minded people surrounding me and worshiping with me, the ongoing support of my husband, and that particular Sunday evening on the farm with our animals. Is there truth in believing that God created these companion animals to portray a genuine, tangible picture of selflessness? One that cannot be compared to what we offer as humans? Their genuine nature has formed me into the “animal person,” I am today. How blessed are we to be given this farm and to give them a home with us?! It’s a very simple, overlooked thought but I see it clearly when I slow down enough to take it all in. There’s a wonderful feeling of serenity when I find myself perfectly okay with getting my white shirt dirty after brushing off the horse or playing fetch with muddy dogs and manicured nails. I imagine that is what “home” feels like for a lot of people in their own ways.

So go home today, read your Bible, pray and ask for humility, love your family, hug your dog and take a deep breath. All in that order. The simple blessings in your life should be profound enough to make you inhale a little peace and exhale a lot of your worries.

The simple life is found in your blessings.

“Many are the Plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21

I have that verse on my personal Instagram profile to remind myself that no matter what plans or dreams or goals I set for myself, it does not compare to what the Lord has planned for my purpose here.

Many who know me would agree (some with rolling eyes) that my thoughts on the big life question, “what I want to do with my life” looks different about every 6 months. I am a dreamer of being the all-around gal. The one who masters life at home, life with friends, life with family, life as an equestrian, life as a money-making wife…it’s never good enough if I can’t have 50 things to cross off of my to-do list. I am great with coming up with new ideas and terrible at following through. I always think of exciting ventures to research and when the overwhelming reality sinks in that it isn’t exactly logical or easy to accomplish, I push that thought away and work towards a newer or seemingly better idea. And while there are many great attributes of myself that I fully embrace…this one kinda sucks. Who wants to live their life constantly wishing their life away? I realize more and more everyday that the Lord does not want that for me.

My grandmother’s name is Joyce, hence the reason of the featured photo being spelled, “ReJoyce” instead of, “Rejoice.” Let me diverge a little on those thoughts above and share some memories I have of her. Trust me, I’m a blogger now. I’ll find a way to bring it all back together by the end of this post.

Summers as a child were best spent at The Farm. My cousins and I never really called it, “Grandma and Grandpa’s house,” it was simply The Farm. The 200-year old white farmhouse sits on 60 acres of woods and hay fields and is complimented with crooked floors and the longest set of stairs leading to the one, single bathroom of that big place. Most of my memories didn’t happen inside that farmhouse though. It happened on the land it stood on. Trail riding the horses was probably everyone’s favorite activity but the fun didn’t stop there. We went swimming in the pool, taught each other how to skip rocks in the creek, chased lightning bugs, made hot dogs over the campfire, and huddled close together in the camper to keep each other warm. I love all my cousins. We still see each other periodically but we can all agree that we were inseparable back then. We all lived for that summer life. Our all-time favorite request from Grandma was to saddle up the horses, grab some buckets, and go pick mulberries from the trails for her. We always happily obliged and we never stopped ourselves from a juicy snack on the ride back to the barn.

If Grandma wasn’t in her garden, she was talking about it or making something in the kitchen from her pickings. I vividly remember picking green beans with her in the garden, shucking corn in the kitchen, then hauling out buckets of corn shucks to toss over the fence for the horses. I always thought it was either crazily coincidental or completely intentional that she was born on Earth Day. She always seemed her happiest growing plants and feeding the hummingbirds…and making very sugary lemonade.

Every Christmas for some odd years, Grandma has used the mulberries picked earlier in the year to make mulberry jam for everyone in the family. She doesn’t pour it in fancy mason jars with cute burlap tags. It comes in those plastic containers that are probably used to hold butter in its former life. Her scribble handwriting names the flavor of the jam and the date she made it on. I never truly have taken the time to savor the flavors of them. They have always been good and have brought fond childhood memories but I didn’t start to appreciate them until she stopped making them.

This past Christmas (2016) Grandma was not able to make jam for everyone like she has done in previous years. For the sake of her privacy I won’t go into details, but the last year or so has been spent in and out of the hospital and a lot of unanswered questions. Needless to say she hasn’t had the time nor the energy for making jam. She was fortunately able to spend Christmas at The Farm and the family even got together to help decorate the tree and make cookies like we used to do. Bless her heart though-she still wanted to get everyone Christmas gifts. She insisted that my mom take her out shopping to help her pick out gifts even though mom told her she didn’t need to do that, but that’s just how big her heart is.

I knew before Christmas time that the likelihood of getting some of Grandma’s mulberry jam was slim due to the circumstances. What is that typical saying? You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. “Well, if Grandma can’t make jam this year, I guess it’s about time I learn how to make it.” There’s another new and exciting idea to add to my to-do list, #67 probably. Truth be told I had already planned to make some anyway. As I was picking strawberries with my dear friend Krista at Blooms & Berries Farm Market and Garden Center on a crisp and sunny Wednesday morning, I recall telling her another one of my crazy newer ideas to make jam with these berries because it reminded me of my Grandmother. So, guess what? I actually followed through with this one.

First off, if you didn’t get any strawberry jam from me this past Christmas, I’m sorry. I really am blessed to know that many people to the point of not having enough to make for everyone but I decided on a select group of people to be my taste-testers: members from our church (not all….I said I’m sorry!), co-workers, some close family and friends, and definitely Grandma Joyce. I’m sure I threw my mother off by calling her in the middle of the week during the busy Holiday season to ask  for her help on this but she happily agreed. She told me that Grandma’s eyes lit up when she told her that I wanted to make jam for Christmas. Then we proceeded with my first ever jam making experience.

I won’t go into details with a how-to tutorial as there are plenty of Pinterest pins already to help you with that. What I will tell you is that it was a lot of fun and that my mom is a total natural. I brought all the ingredients and equipment over to her house, used my frozen strawberries that I picked back in June, and ordered adorable labels from Etsy to put on the lids. Another important detail: pound cake with whipped cream, topped with this jam is in fact Heaven on earth.

So here’s another crazy, seemingly better, new idea of mine that I want to pursue: grow a strawberry garden of my own. Here’s another one: make strawberry jam to sell. I’ve had a lot of great feedback from my taste-testers encouraging me with how great their jam was. I’ve also done some research on how to get a garden started, caring for it, the different types of berries with pros and cons and all that fun stuff. We have a few perfect spots on our property to get this underway and I am really excited to get started on it this Spring! Which, of course, I will keep everyone updated on. Who knows where this will go or what it will end up being for me, whether it be just a hobby or a small business on the side. I have to let go of my intentions when it comes to that part of it and let it be whatever it’s meant to be.

In the meantime I am planning to make more jam (in larger jars) to practice and perfect the jam making process. Would you be interested in buying some? Leave me a comment to let me know! But besides merely perfecting at art of jam making, this is also a way for me to raise money for our future farm improvements. There are some exciting projects ahead that I want to pursue for Farmhouse on Five Mile and making strawberry jam is just one of them. If you want to buy jam from me now, I can’t give you the uniqueness of making it with berries of my own soil (yet) but I can promise that it’s going to be delicious and that the money will go towards something that I believe the Lord might be leading me to. I can’t WAIT to share more with you on what that project is…when the time is right.

This could all totally not work out for me to be completely honest. That’s always the scary thing about new ideas. The garden could very well be a disaster. The jam might not turn into what I think it could be. I can plan and plan and plan all I want for this and anything else, but I have to remember to keep my mind open and my eyes peeled for whatever the Lord has in store for me.

I know there is purpose in my season of waiting. Always.

Yours Truly,

Kelsey Moeller